In the Mirror
by Lily Turwaithiel
Summary: It's been 75 years, and Bella looks at herself in the mirror now. She looks the same, but also different. But, it's time to go downstairs and see everyone now.


**A/N: Disclaimer: I own nothing but Wayna. Who is amazing and even though she has a small part, I've fallen in love with her character.  
Trust me guys, I'm die hard Edward fan. But Jake needs some break sometimes. Especially when he's nice Jake.**

**Although, in this story. I dont know how much of a break he gets...hehe. Read on!**

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I looked at myself in the mirror, tracing over the signs of aging: the wrinkles, the bags under my eyes. I thought about how I would look if he had changed me all those years ago. I imagined for maybe the millionth time, ignoring the burning hole in my chest, my face with its topaz eyes as a vampire. I had gotten paler of the many years, but I would have been paler still. My cheekbones would have been higher; my body would have been more curvaceous. But that's all there is now, _Would-have-been's._

I reached inside my jacket and pulled out a folded photograph. I looked down at my smiling face. The smile looks forced almost, like I was trying to hide my real emotions behind it. Remembering the day it was taken, that's probably true. He was right though, looking at my face now, I was really beautiful then. I sighed and mentally prepared myself for my next move. I flipped over the folded picture so my face was facing the floor now. I stared now at his face, his glorious, angelic face that could never be copied, not even in a picture.

I sighed again, brushing my fingers lightly over his face, marveling at his beauty.

I was 75 years old now. A widowed grandmother. But look at him. His face would not have changed. A 17 year old forever. Whereas I was old and even more frail than ever. How could he even think of _looking_ at me now?

"Mom?" I jumped slightly at the sudden interruption. I shoved the picture back into my pocket quickly before turning to face my daughter.

"Hm?" I murmured.

"Everyone is waiting for you downstairs," she said brushing her dark, almost black hair out of her eyes. She looked so much like her father it was unbearable. Now that he's gone it's like I lost my sun all over again.

"I'll be right down," I said, smiling and patting her face like she was five years old again. She smiled back at me and grabbed her two year old daughter, walking back downstairs. My shy granddaughter turned and waved to her tired grandmother.

I sighed. I knew it would happen someday. I should just get it over with. A clean break. Like all those years ago.

I walked downstairs and into the living room where my entire family and then some were milling around. Everyone from the reserve was there. Embry and Quil, the last of the pack stood next to the casket dutifully. I smiled sadly at everyone as I past making my way to the front of the room where my children stood. I grabbed both my son's and my daughter's hand, squeezed them gently and turned to face my second worst nightmare.

Jake's face was in a mask of happiness, the smile I fell in love with on his face, as he rest on the silk bed of the open casket. I remember the moment that smile came on his face. We were lying in bed together, in each other's arms like I was 18 years old again and he was 17. He was hesitant as he always was when he asked me the question. I told him, yes. Yes, I did love him. More than he knew. This smile lit his face and he leaned over to gently kiss me. I smiled just as goofily and we fell asleep in each other's arms. When I woke up the next morning, I looked over and knew that he wouldn't ever again. He was as cold as death. I kissed his lips and told him what he always liked to hear. That I loved him.

That's how my children found me: unable to get out of his cold embrace, but refused to shed a tear.

Now, as I stood over him with that smile on his face, tears fell freely and silently. But they were tears of anger. How could he leave me like this? I needed him. I always needed him. Now he's left me just like Edward! I wanted to scream at him! But I couldn't. I just leaned down and kissed his face as my children cried on either side of me and whispered, "I love you Jake. More than you ever knew."

I hugged Embry and Quil one more time before whispering an excuse me and stepping out onto the deck facing the dark forest. I leaned out against the rail and pulled my shawl closer. I needed a break from all the sympathy. I was never one for taking it well.

A flash of white in the forest startled me. I looked closer in the trees surrounding me not two feet away.

The wind shifted and blew scent I would always know towards me. It stabbed my heart but I welcomed it gladly. I sighed, exhaling the bad air and storing this delicious scent forever.

"I know your there Edward. You can come out," I said. I was so suddenly aware of how old and gravely I sounded.

I heard him sigh and he stepped out from behind a tree hesitantly. He glanced nervously at the door and I smiled sadly.

"They stopped changing long after you left," I whispered.

"You always were too observant," he said. His voice was so musical, so hauntingly beautiful. My eyes blurred at the sound, but I swallowed hard and held them back.

"What are you doing here Edward," I asked.

He shifted his feet nervously. Never before have I seen him do that before. At least, my old memory doesn't recall.

"I heard what happened. I just wanted to see if…you…"

I nodded, cutting off his sentence. He didn't need to say it. I know.

"I'm fine," I whispered.

He nodded and looked away. That hit me harder than I expected. _He looked away_. Well of course he would. But the silence was unbearable.

"How do I look now Edward? The same as before?" I said somewhat vehemently. "Of course, you look just the same as always. Never will change will you?"

He cringed at my tone. But I felt no remorse. _He_ left _me._ He didn't say anything.

"Please leave Edward. I was happy."

He looked at me then. "You are still beautiful Bella. I told you- you always will be."

I scoffed but said nothing.

"Were you really happy?" he asked. He sounded anxious and sad. I knew he didn't really want to know the answer. I didn't want to cause him anymore pain, but I couldn't help but answer truthfully as always when I look into those eyes.

"I wasn't as happy as I could be, but I was content. I was extremely content until just a few minutes ago," I smiled wryly. "I feel strangely happy now." I sighed shaking my head. "And that's so wrong. Jake doesn't deserve it."

He looked troubled by that, but I knew that if I was happy, he would at least survive.

"I thought he would have…?" Edward stopped.

"Imprint? He did, but I don't think you quite understand the whole concept of imprinting. He was nothing but the greatest friend to that girl, the best big brother she could ever have. Sure," I shrugged, "I was jealous sometimes of the way he looked at her. But, I knew I didn't look at him with enough love either. My heart was always elsewhere. He understood that."

Edward sighed, shaking his head. 'You should have forgotten."

"But I didn't. You overestimate the human mind Edward. If we truly love someone we won't forget them easily. Our minds refuse to let them go," I told him.

"I never stopped loving you Bella," he whispered to me.

I smiled. "I know."

Then the door slid open and I turned to face who was coming outside. Wayna smiled out to me and walked over. Her dark eyes twinkling with unshed tears. I smiled to the young girl and held out my hand. Jacob's imprintee stepped into my embrace and leaned lightly against me. In my peripheral sense I knew Edward was hiding close by, just behind the trees.

"Were you talking to someone out here?" she asked quietly. Her voice was so sweet and innocent. _I knew this was why you imprinted on her Jake_, I thought to myself. _She's beautiful._

I shook my head. "I was just talking to myself."

"Mhm," she sighed. "I miss him."

I kissed her head and squeezed her closer. "I know you do, Wayna. He misses you like hell too. I can feel it."

She laughed at my swearing and my sixth sense of what Jake his feeling. She called it my special power. Edward called it being observant. She breathed in deeply, "I love him," she sighed out shakily.

I turned her back around toward the house and she followed next to me helping me inside.

"I know you did, Wayna. He loves you too," I whispered.

That night as I lay in bed on Jacob's side, breathing in his musky scent deeply with each tired breath, I felt something cold brush lightly against my cheek, and a whispered "I love you Bella," in my ear.

I like to think it was Edward, but I also know, deep down, that it was Jake too.

I loved Jake, but I'm sorry. I just love Edward more. I always have.


End file.
